YCCM PART 5 GOD OF THE LIVING CH 33 JESUS CHANGED EVERYTHING: WHO AM I TRYING TO FOOL?

YOU CAN'T CHANGE ME: Unraveling the Lie

PART 5 GOD OF THE LIVING 

Chapter 33 

JESUS CHANGED EVERYTHING: WHO AM I TRYING TO FOOL?

Narrator: Luke returned from class and saw a group of men talking outside of the men's shelter. Having earned some seniority and respect, he warns the men about congregating outside and blocking the sidewalk.

Luke: Come on guys, you know someone is going to complain about us loitering and being a nuisance. Take it inside.

[The men, look at him, then stare at one another and put their heads down.]

Luke: What's the matter?

Man: Hasn't anyone told you, yet?

Luke: Told me what?

Man: About Javier?

Luke: No. What about Javier?

Man: He's GONE, man...I mean, he's dead.

[Luke is stunned and stares at them in disbelief, then, finally gulps and speaks very solemnly.]

Luke: Come on guys, let's go inside.

Narrator: Luke goes to the shelter office and finds Merle sitting inside Pastor Scott's office. The two men seem to be locked into a very serious conversation. Pastor Scott notices Luke enter the office and beckons him to come in. From the expression on his face, they can tell that Luke knows about Javier, but they fill him in on the details. Javier's organs started shutting down and they couldn't save him.

Luke is outraged when he learns that, although Javier was in a coma, he was left to die in the hospital, alone, no one with him.

Scott: We couldn't get in touch with his sister. The hospital tried, too. By the time Merle and I got there, he was gone. We prayed over him and offered our help to make funeral arrangements.

Luke: What kind of place is this? What good are we? What good am I? I should have been here! I should have stopped him!

Merle: Luke, you can't save everybody.

Luke: I'M NOT TRYING TO SAVE EVERYBODY!

Merle: LUKE! THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT AND BE ANGRY!

Luke: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT AND BE ANGRY?! A MAN IS DEAD! HE WAS UNDER OUR CARE! WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO STOP HIM. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. I WAS HIS MENTOR!

Oh, GOD, I saw the SIGNS! I KNEW the signs! If anybody knows the signs, it's me! WHY DID I LET MY PRIDE GET IN THE WAY AND WAIT SO LONG TO GET HELP?!

Merle: Luke, don't blame yourself!

Luke: I'M NOT TRYING TO SAVE EVERYBODY! BUT...but...
 ...I...I...I'm not...I mean, I thought I could save him. We laid hands on him, anointed him, fasted and prayed for him. It was supposed to work. If God works through me, why didn't it work?

[Feeling weak in his knees, Luke backs up against the wall and at that moment he feels that it's the only thing holding him up.]

Luke: Why didn't it work?

[Luke slumps down to the floor in tears, then becomes very bitter, yelling as he storms out of the office.]


WHO AM I TRYING TO KID?! I'M NO HEALER AND I'M NO MINISTER! I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I REALLY BELIEVE IN ALL OF THIS!

Scott: Luke!

[Pastor Scott starts to get up to follow Luke, but Merle motions for him to stay put.]

Merle: He's got to work this one out on his own, He'll come around. God will speak to his heart.

Narrator: The next day, still discouraged and disheartened, after Javier's death. Luke tells Scott and Merle that he's thinking about quitting and leaving the ministry.