(IHEAM:CH19) I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME: CHAPTER 19 TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE: BE YOURSELF: WHEN THE WORLD IS TELLING YOU TO BE SOMETHING ELSE

I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME

CHAPTER 19

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE

BE YOURSELF: 

WHEN THE WORLD IS TELLING YOU TO BE SOMETHING ELSE

Until we become fully aware of our spiritual selves, as connected to God, MOST often, WE ARE BEING WHO WE CHOOSE TO PRESENT TO OTHERS.

My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I'd like to share with you a series of disturbing experiences that are not unique to me, by any means. By themselves, each experience seems unrelated and isolated. Together, they are traces of the hand of God opening my eyes to myself and the world around me. When we look at our lives, each of us has had experiences that God allowed in order to show us who we are or who we should be. The hurt and pain we endured was God's purifying fire to remove the dross and refine us as pure gold. Such are the four experiences below when I thought I was just being myself.

• EXPERIENCE NO. 1: My most recent experience happened today. I was trying to do what was right. That should have told me to expect something to happen. Yes, I was trying to do what was right for my health and well-being by going out to take a walk and enjoy the sunshine. I walked a while at the lake, then, sat down on a park bench to rest for a while, forgetting that I am a human magnet for people who want to talk, or, who are agents for the opposition. In this case, it was both.
  
  An elderly gentleman, slightly bent over and limping walked towards me and began to strike up a conversation about walking. I complimented him on his ability to continue to do so everyday. Then, immediately, he went in for the kill, steal, and destroy. His questions about where did I come from could only be summed up to, what was I doing sitting at his lake. He wanted to know if I live around these parts? Was I a lifetime resident? Did I go to the city high school? Now, they may sound like innocent questions, but, this is only how it begins with racial profiling and people who believe they have been deputized to keep out the unwanted population.
  
  I answered his questions forthrightly, having nothing to hide and even added that I was a graduate of the state university.  Very surprised, he told me that he had two children who graduated from there and now his grandson was astudent there. He continued to question me, wanting to know what my degree was in. Upon learning that one of my majors was political science, he kicked into right wing mode, believing that he had me now. His bright red sweatshirt became a glowing neon sign, as his face beamed with satisfaction. He knew without doubt that I was one of those liberal type Black people. Suddenly, the state college where his children and grandchild attended became a liberal college that just handed out degrees to minorities. And, yes, this was a real conversation. He didn't like politicians and complained that you couldn't believe anything you heard on television anymore, but, he heard recently on a certain news broadcast that colleges and universities were now controlled by liberals and they were just handing out diplomas to minorities. He knew without doubt that these diplomas weren't earned because of hard work and merit, which was simply saying that college degrees were being placed into the hands of an inferior race to meet quotas. Well, although, I assured him that I worked very hard in college carrying two majors, his belief in unqualified and unworthy minorities, of course made my education easier for him to bear.
  
  When, he alluded to my political affiliation, I told him that I was a woman of faith. I also informed him that I have voted as my heart and God have told me to vote for the good of everyone in the country, even when it meant voting for another political party.

He began to harp on about it being such a divided country and people couldn't even discuss politics anymore or agree upon anything. I began to give examples of simple, but, very important things in life that the two of us most assuredly agreed upon; things that really mattered. Then, I asked him, when you really love something, what do you do? You take care of it, I answered for him. The problem arises because of the selfishness of men and people wanting to be better than others, which is nothing new. Hence, the answer to all of our political problems. If we loved one another, truly loved one another; if we loved our environment and our country, we would take care of one another and the gifts God has given us to take care of.

Yes, I was only trying to take a walk to enjoy a beautiful day and improve my health. I was being myself in what has always been my community, even when I had moved away, but, some people see community as a privilege for people whom they see as being like them. I feel better now that I have written about this. Why? Am I race bating as they call it? Am I trying to incite political and racial unrest? Am I pointing a finger and trying to demean conservatives and the right wing party? No, as always, my intent is to bring Glory to God!

When, I told this man that I was a woman of faith, he didn't allow me to finish my sentence and explain how that effects my political beliefs and affiliation. Eager to put me in my place as a woman and a black woman, he cut me off and proclaimed that he believed in God, too, but....I will leave it there for those of you who might still be stuck at but and separated from God because of those buts, not realizing that your own beliefs get in the way of TRUE belief, and set you against the Will and Way of God.

Be yourself? In whose world? In whose country! With whose permission? First I must live in a country which can look through its eyes and SEE me as being FREE to be myself! I am only FREE to be me within the KINGDOM OF GOD!

• EXPERIENCE NO.2 was a one-on-one situation with a Believer telling me to be myself and evaluating my behavior; choosing to evaluate me from their first impression. Yet, the first statements from this individual were a result of their inability to see beyond my skin color, revealing their ignorance of people of color. They attempted to relate to me by telling me that they always knew they would probably marry a black man. What White person knows these types of things and why? It makes one feel as if there is a secret crystal ball that they don't share with Black people.
  
  On another occasion, I was told by this Believer that I didn't have to worry about being out in the sun and tanning or having visible varicose and spider veins in my legs. This makes one want to ask, "Did they make up another species for Black people, lied about our skin, and they're trying to keep it a secret amongst themselves?" Are they still teaching white children that Black people have tails? Yes, it is very disturbing what some people don't understand about being yourself and allowing others to be themselves. Have we as Believers learned to see through God's eyes? If not, are we dying daily to our flesh?

• EXPERIENCE NO.3: A situation in a taxi with someone expecting me to be what they had fixed in their mind as a stereotypical black person

• EXPERIENCE NO. 4: A situation where I had a telephone conversation with a job interviewer, who expected me to be white, based upon my name, resume, voice and fairly decent mastery of the English language. Then, when I showed up for an interview and they discovered that I wasn't white, they reacted negatively, by quickly pointing out ways in which I wasn't qualified, without allowing me to be tested or interviewed. I was intentionally left with the implied impression and unspoken statement, "How dare you pretend to be somebody else--someone you don't have a right to be." All along, I thought I had legitimate identification, a proven record, and I was being myself.

Of course I am making light of very serious and grave situations, that have severely impacted billions of lives and are clear examples of profiling, discrimination, and stereotyping, but, only because I have overcome, conquered and look to prepare others to do the same. Yes, many of us have experienced similar degrading and discriminatory situations, especially if we are a minority. People may want to be themselves, only to find that being yourself is a freedom only afforded to certain individuals, a particular race, or economic status. Therefore, to be ourselves within this world, we must look to God.



What keeps the world turned upside down is what we believe we've conceived in our minds, but, what we instead have conceived and hidden in our hearts; for the mind follows the heart.



Our impressions of other people are affected by what is in our heart, whether it be a first, or, a last impression. We can base our opinion of others upon what we hear, or, what we see and know, but, how much of what we see, know, and feel is factual, if we aren't seeing and feeling through God's eyes? To understand and know others, we must first know our true selves, that is,  WHO GOD CREATED US TO BE.

Not until I realized how disturbing these previous experiences had been to me, did I become aware that it was not just another attempt of the enemy to attack my pride, but, another way of God to show me, or, remind me of who I am and who He created me to be.

It is easy to see how adversity wins when people lack understanding, compassion and empathy for others. If we could only take the time to find out how, why, and where they obtained their preconceived notions, impressions and prejudices, we can find ways of counteracting instead of resorting to negatively reacting.

What made the aforementioned experiences somewhat disturbing was the fact that those who I was interacting with were at that time, neither capable of understanding the situation in which they had put me, nor, could they possibly understand me (and you know how we all like to be understood). There are millions of people out there in the world, everyday, who are forced to live the same experiences, or, as it is often put, they are forced to wear the same shoes. How can we be ourselves when others are trying to force us to be, or, become someone or something else?



your servant and soldier, united with the One,


mishael